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It’s interesting to me just how quickly things can shift. Wonderfully relaxing and fun weeks give way to the more stressful and worrisome ones in a heart beat, and often without warning. It always takes me back and sets me up for some soul searching.
You see…I like to think that the joy in my life comes from Christ, not from my circumstances. That is how it should be, and that is how I want it to be all the time. But all too often He is reminding me just how much I wrap my happiness around how my life is shaping up. It’s a scary reminder to get. Whenever that shift in circumstances rears its head, I never seem to be prepared for the shock of it. It always throws me off course–leading my immediate response to be one of anger, bitterness, worry, or doubt. Not the things that mark me as a follower of Christ–like hope, love, perseverance, and joy despite times of stress.
God has used the last few days to really point out this failure of mine. To show me my negative reactions when life gets bumpy are not things that reflect the relationship I have with Him. If I was placing my joy in Christ and living by Psalm 16:8, I should not be shaken so much by my circumstances. So…as I wrestle through this lesson, time and time again, I can only be thankful that He is patient. And that He is faithful, always leading me closer to Him in the end. He will see me through, whatever the course may be.
Just to clarify…all is well with me and baby! God is using other areas of my life to refine my character and relationship with Him.
I’m starting to realize something I didn’t before. I have an incredible gift right now–the gift of time! I never realized what a rare treasure this little thing is. Life is usually so busy! With only 24 hours each day, and so many things I want/need to do, normally even fun stuff could become just another thing to add to my to-do list.
But lately, God has blessed me with an abundance of time.
Time to spend with my husband and his ever-changing work schedule. Time to get away. Time to hang out and build relationships with some wonderful people. Time to plan for a baby. And real time to work on things I love to do! I’ve always had a collection of hobbies that I would try to dabble with occasionally. Trying to build a photo and design business on only sporadic bites from the creativity bug wasn’t working too well! But since I’ve quit my job, God has provided me with so many opportunities to work on these things I love! And he’s even given me reason to develop some new skills!
Most amazingly, through all of this, I am getting a glimpse of how this could fit in with His plan! In my time spent with Him, He has begun to show me the big picture in how I can serve Him by doing what I love. Some of my lingering questions, like “Why would God care if I knew how to edit pictures or draw on the computer” are starting to be answered. It is an awesome feeling!!!
Come November, I may look back at this post and laugh. I imagine I won’t be in awe of all my free time with a newborn baby boy on my hands. But until then, I plan to make the most of this gift–having fun, working on stuff I love, and looking for ways to be a blessing to others. And hopefully with all of this time, I will be doing a little more blogging again too. 
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